Forget perfect; be better

Perfect is the enemy of good

-Voltaire, French philosopher

The Problem: an all-or-nothing mindset

Educator, author, and professional trainer Bryan Holyfield writes, the all-or-nothing approach to health and well being "kills more hopeful ambitions than any other issue. There is no greater danger than expecting perfection in an area of inexperience.

Perfectionism kills progress. We think we must be perfect to start, perfect to see progress, and perfect to sustain our new choices. The pressure of perfection delays the start. It creates false expectations of what progress will look like, and it detracts from the fun of the process. 

"A more subtle sign of perfectionism in your health journey is when you become too eager to bypass the novice stage. It is so easy to see advanced strategies from people much further along than you and assume that you should be following what they are doing. This is what I like to call “skill skipping.”

There are layers of skills that will help you along your journey. It might feel like your progress speeds up when you skip to advanced strategies and techniques, but I assure you, you will miss essential skill development that will hinder you down the line."

The Hack: Focus on better, not perfect

Whether you're concentrating on weight loss, strength training, that home project you've ignored for too long, or a relationship that needs mending, look at the issue as an engaging journey you're eager to take.

You know there will be pitfalls along the way; instead of avoiding them or giving up, take them on in small increments that can quickly yield a clear, if small, improvement--a feeling of better, not perfect. Health and fitness experts almost universally agree that walking 4,000 to 10,000 steps a day is the best way to live longer, while reducing your chances of dying from any cause (you read right, any cause).

For some people, especially those living a sedentary lifestyle, this feels like a monstrous task. It's important to note, you don't have to walk all the steps at once. Start very small--maybe 100 steps. Better, not perfect. 

What you can do tomorrow

Holyfield recommends these strategies

• Make simple swaps. When trying to live better, not perfect, start with simplicity. You can add complexity over time as you acquire new skills. When it comes to swapping, start simple and swap a junk food snack for a high-protein snack. Swap a run that you dread for a nice walk. Swap watching TV on the couch for a stretch session on the floor. Swap one high-calorie drink for plain tea, coffee, or water. Swap time scrolling on your phone for deep breathing or doing the dishes. If you can consciously make these simple swaps across your day, each choice will get easier over time and carry over into larger patterns of behavior. 
• Audit the tasks you resist doing. If you resist doing them despite knowing they are beneficial, there is unnecessary difficulty somewhere in the process. Here is the goal: remove at least some friction that makes the task harder than it needs to be. This strategy comes from Dan Charnas and his book Work Clean. The idea is to identify the friction and choose a simple way to eliminate the friction. For weight loss, if your friction is soda, remove all but one serving of soda from your house. Better, not perfect.
• Talk yourself into it. We tend to be good at talking ourselves out of things. Reverse this bad habit. Instead of thinking, I don't want to have that difficult conversation with my spouse, try this: When I explain what is bothering me, I'll feel relieved, will sleep better, and we'll be on the way back to the love that brought us together.

The Hack in Action

Emma is a third-grade teacher. Early in her career, she spent hours every week creating the "perfect" lesson plans, agonizing over every detail to ensure they met every student’s need. Despite her effort, she felt exhausted, and her students seemed disengaged. She felt like a failure.

One Monday, after a long weekend of frustration, she sought the help of a veteran teacher in her building. Her colleague explained that even the greatest teacher never wrote the perfect lessons and that exhausting herself trying was not only unhealthy, it was making her unsuccessful, rather than effective.

Begrudgingly, she decided to shift her approach. Instead of investing many hours in the quest for lessons that would make every student learn, she focused on making one part of each lesson just a little better—whether it was clearer instructions, a more engaging activity, or simply leaving space for questions. She also told herself that it was okay if activities sometimes failed or some students didn't understand. 

Eventually, her lessons ran smoother. With less pressure to be flawless, she had more energy to connect with her students, and they responded with greater participation. Over time, small improvements added up, and her class became more engaged. 

Hope this Hack helps you continue to grow and live your best life! See you next week.

Resources

This Hack includes excerpts from Bryan Holyfield's Small Wins, Big Health 

Photo credit: Gratisography via Pexels