I’m Done Watching Teachers Give Up on Kids

Commentary

By Mark Barnes

I’m fed up. Honestly, I’ve had it with the old-school crowd on X preaching the same tired nonsense about “removing disruptive kids” and keeping the “good kids” away from them.

Just this week, I read posts that made me want to throw my coffee across the room:

90% of the behavior issues come from 10% of the students. Those students need to be isolated to keep their behaviors from disrupting those who want to learn.

and

If 90% of the behavior issues come from 10% of the classes, instead of making all teachers/kids spend precious time on an SEL program, how about making sure those teachers have the support they need so every classroom is well-run.

and

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: Every teacher knows which 2-3 students could be removed and, like magic, classrooms would run better...

This is old-school education thinking at its worst—segregating kids, labeling them as “bad,” and pretending academics can thrive in a vacuum without addressing emotional needs. And I’m done being polite about it.

Old-School Discipline Hurts Everyone

Isolating students doesn’t just fail the so-called “disruptive” kids—it fails every child in the classroom.

Here’s why:

1. It destroys belonging.
   When we remove students, we tell them they don’t belong. And when kids don’t feel like they belong, they stop caring. Period. They stop caring about school, about relationships, about themselves. I’ve seen this play out hundreds of times—kids labeled as “behavior problems” eventually wear that label like a badge. And once that happens, good luck getting them to re-engage.

2. It fuels resentment in the entire classroom.
   Students notice when peers are kicked out or consistently separated. It creates an “us vs. them” mentality. The so-called “good kids” begin to believe that anyone who struggles is a problem to get rid of, not a person to understand. That’s not education—that’s social conditioning to dehumanize people who are different.

3. It teaches nothing about empathy or responsibility.
   The whole point of being in a classroom community is to learn how to live in a community. You don’t learn empathy by sitting only with kids who never push your buttons. You don’t learn responsibility by having “the troublemakers” removed. You learn those things by navigating relationships with people who are different from you—who frustrate you, challenge you, and make you grow.

4. It puts academics over humanity.
   I keep seeing these old-school posts saying, “We need to focus on academics.” Let me ask you this: what kid learns well when they feel like they don’t belong? Show me the research that proves anxiety, isolation, and shame are the keys to higher test scores. Spoiler: it doesn’t exist.

5. It creates adults who quit when things get tough.
   If we teach kids that you just “remove” difficult people from your life, we’re setting them up for failure in the real world. Life doesn’t work that way. In jobs, relationships, and communities, you can’t just exile people who annoy you. Schools are supposed to prepare kids for life, not teach them to avoid it.

I Used to Be One of Those Teachers

I get it—I really do. I used to be one of those teachers who thought removing “problem kids” was the answer. Early in my career, I believed that getting rid of disruptions would make my class run smoothly.

And yes, for a day or two, it was quiet. But you know what happened next? Those same kids came back angrier, more frustrated, and more determined to push back. And the rest of the class?

They learned that if you mess up enough, you just get kicked out. No growth. No learning. Just punishment.

It took me years to realize that the real work isn’t in removing students; it’s in creating a classroom culture that makes removal unnecessary in the first place.

What Actually Works

So, if we’re not removing kids, what do we do? We build a community—from Day 1.

Here’s what worked for me and what I now coach other educators to do:

• Establish shared values on Day 1.
  Students should help create the norms, but they must include basics like:

  • Valuing all members of the community

  • Respecting personal space

  • Following teacher directions the first time

  • Listening when someone else is speaking

  • Taking responsibility for mistakes

And here’s the kicker: these aren’t rules you write on the wall once and forget. They are daily, lived conversations.

• Teach empathy intentionally.
  Role-play scenarios. Discuss how others feel when they are interrupted, laughed at, or excluded. Make empathy a skill you practice, not a word you put on a poster.

• Reinforce, reinforce, reinforce.
  When a kid makes a mistake—and they will—circle back to the values. Ask them how they can repair the harm. Make it about restoration, not punishment.

• Recognize small wins.
  When the “disruptive” student participates appropriately, point it out. When classmates show patience, celebrate it. The culture you praise is the culture you get.

The SEL Debate Is Exhausting

And let’s talk about SEL for a second. The anti-SEL crowd loves to frame it as “fluff” or “precious time wasted.” That’s laughable. Social Emotional Learning is learning. It’s the foundation for everything else.

If you can’t regulate emotions, how do you work through a hard math problem?
If you can’t collaborate, how do you engage in meaningful discussion?
If you don’t feel safe, how do you take academic risks?

We don’t have to choose between academics and SEL. We need both because they are inseparable.

A Final Word to the Old-School Crowd

So, to the educators still pushing for segregation, still whining about “kids who don’t want to learn,” here’s my challenge:

Stop giving up on kids. Stop pretending that removing students is leadership. It’s not. It’s easy. And easy isn’t what good teaching is about.

The real work—the hard work—is building classrooms where every kid matters, every kid belongs, and every kid learns. That’s what I signed up for. That’s what we all should have signed up for.

And if you’re not willing to do that? Maybe it’s time to rethink why you’re here.

Disclaimer

There are many wonderful, caring, student-first educators on social media. Stay tuned for a post celebrating them, as soon as my mood changes. 

✅ What do you think? Are you building a community-first classroom, or are you still tempted to isolate kids? Let’s have the conversation. Our kids deserve it.

Hit us on X @HackMyLearning or @markbarnes19

More Resources

Books about school discipline

Why it's time to rethink classroom management

Eliminate classroom boredom with these student engagement hacks

Mark Barnes is a 30-year educator, founder of Times 10 Publications, and creator of the Hack Learning Series.